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I think we all look very nice, despite my dad's ugly hat. Not bad compared to other past terrible fashion choices. I can't believe my brothers graduated from middle school and are going to be HIGH SCHOOLERS in a matter of a few months. When I sat in the audience listening to cheesy ass speeches on "making choices in high school" and "redwood is diverse" and all that stuff, I was thinking "enjoy now because in a few years you'll be in cliques and think the girl next to you is a slut and/or bitch". And then I realized how cynical I was, and remembered how innocent-y and awkward I was back then, just like my brothers are now. I make fun of them for how they are and criticize their often disgusting behavior but I definitely had my weird stages too, just not 5 years ago. On that very field, I wore my mom's lipstick and was paranoid about tripping off the stage as I walked down the stairs in my *OMG high heels. My brothers weren't at my middle school graduation, and if you think about it, it really isn't that big of a deal but deep down I care and want to be there and am glad I was. Even though I had just came back from Davis and the next day had to move out and speed back down for SHS', of which I caught the last (important) remaining people after it was all over and managed to snap a few pictures. Graduations, no matter the type, always seem to be "not an end, but a beginning". I don't think there's a way to avoid the cheesiness of it all...and I don't think you should be able to. Because milestones like these are indeed special and meant to make you feel all warm and bittersweet and sad all at the same time, while being attacked by your friends and family with flowers, balloons, and congratulations. It's a good feeling. I'm excited for when I get to experience it again in a few years. Speaking of which, I just completed my first year of this thing called college. Parts of it was what I expected, and parts weren't. Living with another person in the same room was difficult, and I learned a lot not just about how to share and compromise and stand up for yourself and whatnot, but also about how very different people can be. In my suite alone, different people taught me different things. We all came from somewhere different, one of us was an only child, another grew up on a farm, etc. Our habits differed and while at times we just dealt with it, by the end of the year we were all pretty much neck-to-neck. Needless to say, I'm glad I'm getting my own room next year in my own apartment. This past year, I've stayed up till 5 am, stayed in bed till 5 PM, had long talks on AIM, met a bunch of people, over half of which I never talked to again, got mad, got sad, hated myself, loved life, missed my family, loathed the weather, fallen asleep in class, rowed in boat, rowed endlessly on an erg, became a Division I athlete, quit being one, and my top favorite, met someone who changed me. My grades weren't as hot as I hoped, but what matters at this point is how excited I am about my major. Real-life events and a great professor confirmed that this was the right choice, and as I start on upper division classes I'm stoked to get into all the nitty grittiness of it. I know that there are times when I really won't understand what the fuck is going on, and I've learned now that help is EVERYWHERRRE. The hardest part isn't learning the material, it's often simply getting your ass up to go get it. The initiative lies within. I also like thinking about my future. But yesterday talking to my dad I realized how I really don't like interviews. For my one real job, I just got it through connections..and for other interviews I've done, I sweat and stutter and say paragraphs of words in one breath. I'm going to need to work on that. My parents harped on me a lot in the past few months about my housing situation. Basically, two people told me they would live with me and backed out. Now, hopefully my third potential roomate will be successful. I've learned a lot about getting a place to live and all the other adult stuff that comes with it. In just one year, I've managed to learn more about grown-up stuff like this...mostly stuff that involves a lot of money and the law. On the same token, I've been much more open with my parents. With my mom even more, about little things like cooking and dealing with people and with my dad, moreso about my future. They provide with different types of guidance...I'm glad that our relationship is the way it is now, and hopefully one day my brothers will learn to grow out of their retardation stage and find something like that too. At various times in my brothers' lives so far, I've been a sister mostly but when stuff like them going to high school happens, I find myself acting parental. I want to pressure them to do well in school, to right things I did wrong in my 4 years. At the same time, I know pressure isn't positive but really, I never received much of it. Not until senior year did I realize how important college was, and that made me regret some stuff. I want my brothers to get the benefit of me already having had the experience, and I want to make sure they don't do anything wrong that might put their future at risk. With college getting harder and harder to get into, I wonder what it will be like in a few years. I won't always be around either, and it's hard trying to balance school and matters at home. But everyone is always juggling these important things and in different situations, certain things come before other. Time management always finds its way into everything. But for now, it's summer and time to relax a bit in the scorching heat that apparently sets fire even in Paradise, causing the sky to look something like this: 
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